PART TWO: SPAIN & SWITZERLAND







FYI: Switzerland is expensive! Check out the prices of the value meals at the Zurich airport. Me and Brad hung out here in this massive mall/airport waiting for our flight to Barcelona. Granted, the above prices are in Swiss Francs but in US dollars it would only be about a dollar less.

And I hope you all appreciate the plethora of condiments we take for granted in the US. In most places in Europe, ketchup packets cost like 30 cents!!! But of course mustard is free. :(

Oh yeah, and they make you pay to use public bathrooms! HAHAHA



In Barcelona they are known for the thousands of street performers who line the streets of the city entertaining tourists from around the world. Jack here, from Nightmare Before Christmas was on huge stilts. I don't know if you can tell in the picture but he is rubbing the tops of people's heads.



These two stood completely still until someone would throw money in their buckets and then they would ride the bikes and make really odd noises.





I got to give some props to this lady. Everything about her was so completely detailed.






Living statue guy.






My Dad's next girlfriend. HAHAHAH. Just kidding Dad.



Check out the look on the old lady's face. She was cracking up.


The worst Teenage Mutant Ninja EVER!!!





A street in Barcelona.




An alley behind the Cathedral.





The view from the roof of the Cathedral.




The Cathedral de Barcelona. It construction was started in the 1200's.







A plaza in Barcelona.




We found this beautiful lagoon in the middle of a park in Barcelona when we were walking around one day. Pretty sweet huh?




The lagoon had swans, ducks and all kinds of wildlife running around in it.




The Hotel Continental where Brad and I. It reminded me of Hollywood a bit but at night it was a lot like being in Time Square in NY. You could walk right outside and buy cans of beer for a dollar, pot, and hookers if that was your bag. Needless to say Brad was missing a lot. Ha ha. Just kidding.







Walk this way please.










Our hotel was really conveniently located, there was free breakfast and snacks all day. Free water, free BEER, free internet and other stuff. However, we did have to suffer through the decor that looked like flowers threw up all over EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding. Even the ceiling.





A shining moment.




Our room. It was like summer camp at the Pepto Bismol academy.


This is why you don't get drunk and let your roommate take pictures of you. I don't know what the hell I was doing. He wanted me to walk backwards down stairs in the hallway of the hotel like the demon in the Exorcist. I didn't make it very far.




The Gaudi Museum.




We took a train a half an hour outside of Barcelona to a beach town called Sitges. I loved it there and I will definitely make it a destination on my next trip to Spain. This is a street on the way to the beach.




The beach. It was so beautiful.



Looks a little like Miami right?



Some broad.



Sitges beach.






Brad taking a break from staring at the topless sunbathers.







Barcelona.





Las Ramblas, (where our hotel was) in the daytime.



Out of all the places to eat in Barcelona, Brad and I chose an Indian restaurant called Bembe. It is owned by Master Chef trained in India and the UK. We had this amazing 9 course dinner that was only $25 Euros each. (About 35 bucks) I've never eaten so much in my life. I actually got a cramp walking back to the hotel from eating too much!!




Brad on our hotel lobby balcony overlooking La Rambla at night.





When we returned to Germany, we met up with some of Brad's family in Appenzale, Switzerland. Here I saw a dog that looked a lot like my dog growing up.





For those of you wondering, they do have a Penis Union in Switzerland.





Appenzale, Switzerland.








Andrea feeling "special".




Brad's cousin Nikko.



The four stooges. Brad, Andrea, Melanie and Tom.






Tomas, Nikko and Connie.



Continuing my tradition of making out with any inanimate object I could find....




Following our excursion in Appenzale we all went to this mountain where they had bob-sled rides that went down the hill. YES, me and Brad actually rode a Bob-Sled down the Swiss Alps. It was AWESOME!!



This picture defines the term "Cluster fuck". For most of our time with Brad's family, we visited places in these huge groups of people. You can imagine how hard it was to keep the group together and to agree on what to do. Luckily the debates we always in German so I didn't have to do anything but stand there and wait till someone pointed in a direction. This picture is so funny because we were at a four-way intersection and everyone was trying to go in a different direction.




To those of you who love the show "Arrested Development" as much as I do, you will appreciate that I found a store that caters to "Never-nudes".




Lake Constance (or the Bodensee as the Germans call it) from afar.







Insanity beginning to set in after 20 hours of travel with barely any sleep.






Those neck pillows really come in handy.



Sleep deprivation makes me angry!!!!!!!





Well people, I hope you enjoyed my pictures and there are still more to come from Brads camera. Check back soon!

The greatest hour of television… the stupidity of 51% of Americans...and some jackass named Toby Keith

After another blissful evening watching the The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, me and my roommate got into discussing how hilarious Steven Colbert was at the White House Correspondents dinner. I mean, did most of those guys even realize that his show is a farce?

“That Steve Col-what’s his name is pretty good for that liberal scum network,” says conservative talking head #1.

“I agree, it’s about time they got to balancing out the REAL side of the news,” says conservative taking head #2.

“Yeah, especially after that commie Jack Steward or whatever-his-name-is, takes a crap on our good moral values for a half hour a day to those young pot heads,” says CTH #1.

And tonight, one of the funniest and scariest parts of the show was when Steven Colbert pointed out that over 60% of politicians in this country do not believe in evolution. And upon further digging, my roommate reported back that only 51% of American people do.

So what of the dinosaurs? Well, in Cincinnati at the $25 million, 6o thousand square foot snazzy Disney-esque experience that is the Creationism museum, they have found a solution to that ever nagging question of our prehistoric friends. Simply, the dinosaurs rode along side our “modern” animals on Noah’s Ark. That makes sense right?

Maybe its just me, but I can't help but wonder what kind of fancy crack potion the Almighty could have whipped up to keep all the T-Rex’s, Lions, Bears, and Wolverines from destroying the fuzzy Bunnies, Squirrels, and snuggly Koala Bears? And IF this so called potion exists, what happened to it? I mean, could he have not foreseen the even larger possibility of devastation created by his finest creation to date: MAN?

Speaking of manly creations...

So if that segment wasn’t enough to keep me entertained, I was lucky enough to waste ten minutes of my life watching the featured guest on the Colbert Report, country singer Toby Keith. Have you seen this guy? It's almost as if the conservative, southern right wing of our country sat in a lab with a mad scientist to create the Uber-Man to spout the good word of “patriotism”and the work of his holiness George W. And as if the fact that this guy even has a full page ad for Ford trucks in the back page of his CD wasn't bad enough, he actually said and I quote "I just got back from Afghanistan and things are looking great over there." Um....did he possibly miss the news item that in that particular day 100 people were actually KILLED in Afghanistan? Well, maybe 100 people isn't that bad to Mr. Keith. Maybe he has a slightly altered perception of the world in which war is o.k. as long as its not our good ole' boy Americans dying.

I’m sorry if I offend here, but I just find it rather amusing that a man who is so proud to be an AMERICAN, will insult in the same breath many of the people who live in this country. And I’m not even referring to his “world-changing” song about sticking boots up the asses of them damn “Terra-ists.”

His latest hit “High-Maintenance Woman” when played at even the lowest of volumes spontaneously will set off a idiot-alarm in your ears that will most likely prevent me from hearing again for three hours. And I quote, "She ain't got a lot on, she ain't got a lot to say. She wouldn't look my way, but buddy what'd you expect?“

Maybe I’m taking cheap shots here. I mean, when has country music ever been anything other than just a base form of music meant to speak to the everyman with everyday problems ?

It was at this point in the evening when a debate between my roommate and I began about the differences between hip-hop rap and country music. He is not so much a fan of hip-hop. I on the other hand, am. But of course I am discerning when it comes to what I listen to, the same way perhaps many people are when listening to country music. Compare for example the differences between a group like the Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith. Obvious right?

There is the same difference between a group like Gangstarr and Mims. I mean, compare the lyrics between these two songs:

Gangstarr: "I got one lyric pointed at your head for start, another pointed at your weak ass heart.If I pull the trigger on these fully loaded rhymes, you wish I would have pulled a black 9.

Mims: "This is why I’m hot, this is why your not. I’m hot cause I’m fly, you ain’t cause you not, this is why, this is why I’m hot."

A very strong argument that Mims makes for hotness, no? Ha ha ha terrible. You see what I mean? I'm probably biased though. I view Gangstarr's work as modern day poetry meant to expand the mind of the listener and question what rap or hip-hop actually is.

But back to the country/hip-hop debate. I believe that the fundamentals of country music and hip-hop are the same. The two forms of music may come from different cultures, but they are essentially saying the same things in different ways. Think about it. Every great country or hip-hop song is about women, losing women, men, losing men, making money, supporting the family, struggle, getting drunk, getting high, or getting locked up.

One of the most startling comparisons between these two music genres is that at their worst, some of the artists have the ability to represent all that is terrible about our little country and how far we really have to go before we can get people thinking or caring about anything important.

Well, I will leave you all with that thought and I hope you've all enjoyed my ramblings. If you have some time check out the website for the Creationism museum. It's really freaky. (shudder).

Service....ain't it great?

Recently over coffee with a friend I was telling her a hilarious story involving one of my previous jobs. I remember her telling me I should write it down and right there it occurred to me that I have MANY hilarious job stories. Over the years I have worked, (mostly in the service industry) in several ridiculous places and have amassed a collection of great stories.

My grandmother once said that her life was so crazy that a person could easily write a book about it. And with that thought in mind, I've decided to test out some of my "job stories" here on my blog in hopes of getting some feedback to whether this might be a fun project for me to write and send out into the "REAL" publishing world.

Enjoy!

C

INTRODUCTION:


In my life I've made pizzas, scooped ice cream, worked as a video store clerk, been a cocktail waitress, a shot girl, a bartender, a fine dining server, a female security guard, a salesperson, a manager, a writer, an editor, a crappy intern and many more things that I can't even remember. And all before the ripe age 0f 26. Can you spot the theme?

I am a service industry person. As much as I used to fight with the notion that the service industry is not a "real" career option, I have recently come to terms with it. Like my grandfathers and father, I was born to provide service. It may not be what I was born to do, but man am I good at it.

How does that expression go? "I could sell ice to Eskimos." Yeah, something like that.
Thats me. The ice saleslady.

You would think that when you work with people everyday that you eventually would stumble across the key to magically unlock the secrets of how to deal with them in a smooth and efficient manner. That, however, is not the case. If anything, your interactions with others often become harder, marred by memories of previous bad experiences and the fears that they will be repeated. You become bitter, overly critical and impatient in situations that are really not all that bad.

Example 1: Eating out

"Jesus! How long does it take these fuckers to make fries?"

or,

"This server is terrible. We've been here five minutes and I still don't have my drinks. And I think he has an attitude problem."

Example 2: Waiting tables

"If these idiots don't get there shit together and order in the next 5 seconds I'm walking away from the table and spitting in there food."

And of course while no spit actually comes anywhere near the vicinity of a customers food, just the thought of doing it is needed to carry on.

Over the years you could say that I've met my share of characters. Between customers, workers, bosses and drunks, I feel I've run the gamut. It's occurred to me that the only real logical thing to do with these experiences is to share them all with you.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that there are several reasons why working in the service industry is great. A few are:

1) Flexible schedules.
2) Cash in your pocket.
3) Exercise.
4) Not sitting in an office all day.
5) Networking.
6) Furthering your alcoholism. (A joke...sort of :) )
7) Determining your own worth. Work hard make more, work less make less.


On the other hand, there are many reasons that the service industry is only great if your a masochist. I guess I happen to be one. In the following posts with be a collection of fictional stories inspired by my real life experiences. I hope you enjoy or cringe through them as much as I have!

Practice what you preach my friends...

So tonight on the way home I was sitting in the back of a cab listening to the ranting voice of some crazy wackjob on public radio. After a few minutes, I got a bit annoyed. He was reading quotes from Jesse Jackson and the Rev. Al Sharpton while trying to make the point that they were evil. As somewhat of a journalist I realize that many things when taken out of context can have a negative slant. Now, I am not defending these men, and surely a lot of what they have said can be argued as borderline wacko themselves. But, hearing the shrill, tirading voice of a man who was probably only brave enough to express his opinions on the radio from the safety of his own basement irritated the crap out of me.

So I lean forward. Looking at the driver, a man of African decent, I ponder...

"This guy is nuts."

"Why you say that?"

"Well, he sounds a bit fanatical don't you think?" says me.

"He is only reading what these bad men have said", says cabbie.

"Well I believe that a lot of what we say can definitely be taken out of context," I respond confidently.

"If you cannot be careful with your words, then you shouldn't be a leader," he says.

"Um...Have you ever seen the president of this country speak?"

"Oh, be careful. I am a Bush man."


Yeah, thats all I will leave you with. You can probably imagine the conversation that followed. Ultimately, I have respect for the cabbie because long after we reached my destination he sat on the side of the road, meter off, and discussed world affairs and his spite for our country's slow demise. He was adamant and passionate about his views. But he also listened to mine without judgment. His name was D.J. and was a native of Nigeria who has lived in the U.S. for 11 years.

I will never claim to understand how different the world might look when coming here from a very different environment. And I also will not ever understand how we as a people can get the same information yet disseminate it in completely different ways.

He was passionate about the war, about being number one, about how parents should take better care of their children and instead of wasting money on $150 sneakers buy their kids books, and about how universal health care would never work. And he was passionate in placing blame on just about any liberal or prominent African American leader in this country.

It was then when I felt a click like I had never felt before. For once I did not argue. Instead I sat there and listened with a grace rivaling Gandhi, until he had finished. I did not hate him, or even dislike him. I did not agree with him but I did feel connected with him. As crazy as it may sound I started thinking about how if I hated him, I would only be hating myself. I think I picked that up from Siddhartha or something. :)

Whether we like it or not, we are all the same. Good and bad. And for this one instance, I'm glad I had the restraint to hold back, when I really wanted to fight. I knew this was a battle of wills I would never win.

Instead, (with my newly inspired Gandhi-ess calmness) I turned the tables on him. In short, I asked him what he was doing to make our society better. Surely an educated man like himself was doing his part to teach the youth the "right way" that he preached about. No?

I felt this enormous wave of divine inspiration come over me and I began telling him that instead of directing all of his passion and energy toward bad-mouthing the bad leaders and black leaders, why doesn't he practice what he preaches and use some of that energy toward helping our youth. Of course he argued that it was the parents jobs to steer children in the right direction, but I countered by asking what we should do if they weren't doing it? Should we just give up?

Join a mentoring program at Cabrini-Green or any other organization that fights for giving children a better future. Be a role model. Turn the fucking radio off and make your own decisions. Apathy is the biggest disease in our country. Make decisions that count.

He sat silent. I watched his face ponder this and all my other points and slowly his face changed. I will never forget what he said.

"I believe that you learn something from everyone, no matter their place in life. And I don't like to admit that I don't take enough personal responsibility. You are right in what you are saying."

Now, I'm not sitting here writing this to get some satisfaction from winning an argument. I am writing this in hopes that you all will get the point and live it. It's really easy to make judgments when your sitting on the sidelines. If you don't like the way things are, stop talking about it and DO something about it. It may seem small but, if we all made those small moves soon the world would change.

Don't want to pay $3 a gallon for gas? Stop paying it. Carpool. Demand the prices go down.

Don't want to live in a country that finds it acceptable for our nation to have poverty while we export millions of dollars overseas to fight a unwinnable war? Stand up, say no!

Don't want to sit at a desk 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year to only have 2 weeks to truly be yourself in the world? Quit your fucking job!

Practice what you preach my friends... Just imagine the kind of world we could create.

Gravity

I find it amusing that some of the best advice I ever got came in a book called "Taxi Driver Wisdom". Recently I was reminded of a few:

"Travel is to spread your life all over the world"

"You see in other people what you want for yourself"

&

"There's no need to stand behind anyone when there's so much room to walk"

This week finds me at the end of my journey to Costa Rica. When I was there I kept having these moments where I knew I was seeing something amazing that I would have to tell everyone about. But now when friends ask about the trip, I can't seem to find the words. Unlike any other trip I've ever had, Costa Rica had a purpose beyond vacation. I wanted to clear my head and find some perspective.

At first I struggled with the notion of living without all of the distractions that have become urban creature comforts. No phones? No TV? Whatever will I do? The bar closes at what time? 9:30????? WHAT?!! Surely you will find me wandering around in a trance, drooling, after completely losing my mind.

But after a couple of days as I shed my gadgets and gizmos and with them my sense of urgency to use them, I felt better. Whole even. Suddenly, I felt lighter. Not having all this "stuff" was surprisingly invigorating.

All in all, I guess the lesson learned was that I don't need to figure out what I want to be. I just need to be happy in the moment and none of that other stuff matters. I don't need to answer to someone to feel like I serve a "purpose". I only answer to myself.

For a long time, I've definitely had my priorities backwards. I have somehow been twisted into the thinking that "success" is measured by things gained. But the true measure of "success", I've learned, is not what is gained but being able to appreciate and enjoy what you already have around you. That is prosperity. In Costa Rica I was humbled by people, who for the most part, looked at me without judgment. They didn't care what I own, or what car I drive or what my house looks like. Instead they cared what was inside my heart.

I've tried for the past few days to explain this concept of emotional "gravity" to people, but I just can't seem to put it into words. I would love to move to a place like Costa Rica. It has been the only place on earth that I've ever been where I've been physically aware of the gravity holding my body to the ground. I feel pulled there somehow, as if it is where I should be.

Who knows where I will end up, but I know that my days are numbered in Chicago, a place where I once felt pulled to too.

An Existential Crisis... or as I like to call it " A Lazy Streak"

I realize it has been quite a while since I updated on a regular basis. I somehow don't have the type of discipline it takes to whine and muse about random thoughts the way I used to. Or maybe its the fact that all my best blogging came during the times when I was held prisoner in an office for 8 hours a day.

So here I am again, almost forgetting how to type (or write for that matter). Recapturing my old wit feels a lot like riding a dusty unicycle.

I could make excuses but that would be pretty lame. As of right now I'm taking a giant step back from my life and really trying to examine the place that I am in. I have been so distracted by finishing my degree that I don't think I really put too much emphasis on figuring out what would happen after. And much like the rest of my life I foolishly assumed things would just fall into place and happen...which they usually do. I'm of the belief that if you have a positive enough attitude, good things will happen. No matter how stressful a situation, I have always been able to find my way out. "Everything will work itself out" has pretty much been my personal mantra.

So rewind to December 2006. There I was, smug and satisfied with myself for completing college in under 10 years! Yea me! I jumped into the career search, armed with a blind sense of confidence that could almost will me into getting a job on charisma alone. And then lo' and behold, after working for free in my "field" while keeping one eye on the prize I realized that what I thought I wanted might not be what I would be happiest doing.

I've been having these conversations lately with friends (that most likely make them want to stick nails in their eyes; I mean really "wa wa wa...poor me, I'm so confused"; meanwhile children in Africa are eating gnats for sustenence), about how I need to learn how to separate the idea that WHAT I do (as a career) doesn't necessarily make me WHO I am. But you see, the problem is, I want what I do to be who I am. Its not like I'm living in the burbs with two kids and working as a means to support them. Its easy to separate yourself from work when your priorities are elsewhere. I am really just searching for something that will keep me occupied and fulfilled everyday. And I don't think that will happen sitting in an office 40 hours a week.

A good friend of mine is playing with the notion of joining the Peace Corps. I have to say that I admire that about her. I think that I would love to do something like that as well. I don't, however, have the kind of patience myself that would allow me to pull off such a noble act. At the end of the day, I really like helping people but I also really like having a cocktail if you know what I mean.

Thankfully, I'm getting out of dodge for a while. Me and my mom are hitting up Costa Rica at the end of the month and it is a much needed escape. I quit 2 of my 3 jobs and till I return from my trip I'm pretty sure there will be a lot more of this going back and forth about my future.

Chicago has been good to me, but really, does my road really end here? Who knows. But hopefully, for my sake and everyone elses I will return from my trip with a clearer picture of where my next step should be. Or at least I'll be able to stop driving everyone crazy with my whining.

xoxo

C