Service....ain't it great?

Recently over coffee with a friend I was telling her a hilarious story involving one of my previous jobs. I remember her telling me I should write it down and right there it occurred to me that I have MANY hilarious job stories. Over the years I have worked, (mostly in the service industry) in several ridiculous places and have amassed a collection of great stories.

My grandmother once said that her life was so crazy that a person could easily write a book about it. And with that thought in mind, I've decided to test out some of my "job stories" here on my blog in hopes of getting some feedback to whether this might be a fun project for me to write and send out into the "REAL" publishing world.

Enjoy!

C

INTRODUCTION:


In my life I've made pizzas, scooped ice cream, worked as a video store clerk, been a cocktail waitress, a shot girl, a bartender, a fine dining server, a female security guard, a salesperson, a manager, a writer, an editor, a crappy intern and many more things that I can't even remember. And all before the ripe age 0f 26. Can you spot the theme?

I am a service industry person. As much as I used to fight with the notion that the service industry is not a "real" career option, I have recently come to terms with it. Like my grandfathers and father, I was born to provide service. It may not be what I was born to do, but man am I good at it.

How does that expression go? "I could sell ice to Eskimos." Yeah, something like that.
Thats me. The ice saleslady.

You would think that when you work with people everyday that you eventually would stumble across the key to magically unlock the secrets of how to deal with them in a smooth and efficient manner. That, however, is not the case. If anything, your interactions with others often become harder, marred by memories of previous bad experiences and the fears that they will be repeated. You become bitter, overly critical and impatient in situations that are really not all that bad.

Example 1: Eating out

"Jesus! How long does it take these fuckers to make fries?"

or,

"This server is terrible. We've been here five minutes and I still don't have my drinks. And I think he has an attitude problem."

Example 2: Waiting tables

"If these idiots don't get there shit together and order in the next 5 seconds I'm walking away from the table and spitting in there food."

And of course while no spit actually comes anywhere near the vicinity of a customers food, just the thought of doing it is needed to carry on.

Over the years you could say that I've met my share of characters. Between customers, workers, bosses and drunks, I feel I've run the gamut. It's occurred to me that the only real logical thing to do with these experiences is to share them all with you.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that there are several reasons why working in the service industry is great. A few are:

1) Flexible schedules.
2) Cash in your pocket.
3) Exercise.
4) Not sitting in an office all day.
5) Networking.
6) Furthering your alcoholism. (A joke...sort of :) )
7) Determining your own worth. Work hard make more, work less make less.


On the other hand, there are many reasons that the service industry is only great if your a masochist. I guess I happen to be one. In the following posts with be a collection of fictional stories inspired by my real life experiences. I hope you enjoy or cringe through them as much as I have!