Monday, April 09, 2007

Practice what you preach my friends...

So tonight on the way home I was sitting in the back of a cab listening to the ranting voice of some crazy wackjob on public radio. After a few minutes, I got a bit annoyed. He was reading quotes from Jesse Jackson and the Rev. Al Sharpton while trying to make the point that they were evil. As somewhat of a journalist I realize that many things when taken out of context can have a negative slant. Now, I am not defending these men, and surely a lot of what they have said can be argued as borderline wacko themselves. But, hearing the shrill, tirading voice of a man who was probably only brave enough to express his opinions on the radio from the safety of his own basement irritated the crap out of me.

So I lean forward. Looking at the driver, a man of African decent, I ponder...

"This guy is nuts."

"Why you say that?"

"Well, he sounds a bit fanatical don't you think?" says me.

"He is only reading what these bad men have said", says cabbie.

"Well I believe that a lot of what we say can definitely be taken out of context," I respond confidently.

"If you cannot be careful with your words, then you shouldn't be a leader," he says.

"Um...Have you ever seen the president of this country speak?"

"Oh, be careful. I am a Bush man."


Yeah, thats all I will leave you with. You can probably imagine the conversation that followed. Ultimately, I have respect for the cabbie because long after we reached my destination he sat on the side of the road, meter off, and discussed world affairs and his spite for our country's slow demise. He was adamant and passionate about his views. But he also listened to mine without judgment. His name was D.J. and was a native of Nigeria who has lived in the U.S. for 11 years.

I will never claim to understand how different the world might look when coming here from a very different environment. And I also will not ever understand how we as a people can get the same information yet disseminate it in completely different ways.

He was passionate about the war, about being number one, about how parents should take better care of their children and instead of wasting money on $150 sneakers buy their kids books, and about how universal health care would never work. And he was passionate in placing blame on just about any liberal or prominent African American leader in this country.

It was then when I felt a click like I had never felt before. For once I did not argue. Instead I sat there and listened with a grace rivaling Gandhi, until he had finished. I did not hate him, or even dislike him. I did not agree with him but I did feel connected with him. As crazy as it may sound I started thinking about how if I hated him, I would only be hating myself. I think I picked that up from Siddhartha or something. :)

Whether we like it or not, we are all the same. Good and bad. And for this one instance, I'm glad I had the restraint to hold back, when I really wanted to fight. I knew this was a battle of wills I would never win.

Instead, (with my newly inspired Gandhi-ess calmness) I turned the tables on him. In short, I asked him what he was doing to make our society better. Surely an educated man like himself was doing his part to teach the youth the "right way" that he preached about. No?

I felt this enormous wave of divine inspiration come over me and I began telling him that instead of directing all of his passion and energy toward bad-mouthing the bad leaders and black leaders, why doesn't he practice what he preaches and use some of that energy toward helping our youth. Of course he argued that it was the parents jobs to steer children in the right direction, but I countered by asking what we should do if they weren't doing it? Should we just give up?

Join a mentoring program at Cabrini-Green or any other organization that fights for giving children a better future. Be a role model. Turn the fucking radio off and make your own decisions. Apathy is the biggest disease in our country. Make decisions that count.

He sat silent. I watched his face ponder this and all my other points and slowly his face changed. I will never forget what he said.

"I believe that you learn something from everyone, no matter their place in life. And I don't like to admit that I don't take enough personal responsibility. You are right in what you are saying."

Now, I'm not sitting here writing this to get some satisfaction from winning an argument. I am writing this in hopes that you all will get the point and live it. It's really easy to make judgments when your sitting on the sidelines. If you don't like the way things are, stop talking about it and DO something about it. It may seem small but, if we all made those small moves soon the world would change.

Don't want to pay $3 a gallon for gas? Stop paying it. Carpool. Demand the prices go down.

Don't want to live in a country that finds it acceptable for our nation to have poverty while we export millions of dollars overseas to fight a unwinnable war? Stand up, say no!

Don't want to sit at a desk 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year to only have 2 weeks to truly be yourself in the world? Quit your fucking job!

Practice what you preach my friends... Just imagine the kind of world we could create.
Gravity

I find it amusing that some of the best advice I ever got came in a book called "Taxi Driver Wisdom". Recently I was reminded of a few:

"Travel is to spread your life all over the world"

"You see in other people what you want for yourself"

&

"There's no need to stand behind anyone when there's so much room to walk"

This week finds me at the end of my journey to Costa Rica. When I was there I kept having these moments where I knew I was seeing something amazing that I would have to tell everyone about. But now when friends ask about the trip, I can't seem to find the words. Unlike any other trip I've ever had, Costa Rica had a purpose beyond vacation. I wanted to clear my head and find some perspective.

At first I struggled with the notion of living without all of the distractions that have become urban creature comforts. No phones? No TV? Whatever will I do? The bar closes at what time? 9:30????? WHAT?!! Surely you will find me wandering around in a trance, drooling, after completely losing my mind.

But after a couple of days as I shed my gadgets and gizmos and with them my sense of urgency to use them, I felt better. Whole even. Suddenly, I felt lighter. Not having all this "stuff" was surprisingly invigorating.

All in all, I guess the lesson learned was that I don't need to figure out what I want to be. I just need to be happy in the moment and none of that other stuff matters. I don't need to answer to someone to feel like I serve a "purpose". I only answer to myself.

For a long time, I've definitely had my priorities backwards. I have somehow been twisted into the thinking that "success" is measured by things gained. But the true measure of "success", I've learned, is not what is gained but being able to appreciate and enjoy what you already have around you. That is prosperity. In Costa Rica I was humbled by people, who for the most part, looked at me without judgment. They didn't care what I own, or what car I drive or what my house looks like. Instead they cared what was inside my heart.

I've tried for the past few days to explain this concept of emotional "gravity" to people, but I just can't seem to put it into words. I would love to move to a place like Costa Rica. It has been the only place on earth that I've ever been where I've been physically aware of the gravity holding my body to the ground. I feel pulled there somehow, as if it is where I should be.

Who knows where I will end up, but I know that my days are numbered in Chicago, a place where I once felt pulled to too.