Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Here's the deal..... (christen's insufferable political ramblings)



(Image courtesy of: www. fragmentedself.wordpress.com )


Here we go again people. Have we all learned our lesson this time? Are we actually ready for a change?

You know, it sickens me that our country has to almost completely lapse back into a recession and a full-out economy circle-jerk before we start taking notice of our political leaders. Is anyone really shocked that the Iraq war has become less of a concern to American voters? Of course not.

Suddenly our consumer-driven society seems on the brink of consuming itself and we all wonder how it happened. Suddenly, the idea of invading and destroying another country just because we can doesn't seem to have been such a good idea. Well, you put war mongers in power folks, believe me, you get a war.

While I've tried to remain open-minded and truly weigh the possibilities of each candidate, I can't help but get a little bit caught up in this Obama-rama fever. Perhaps its because he is SO different than what we have now. It actually don't think it would be that hard for ANYONE to run on the "Change" platform and get people excited.

And of course, we have all the critics running around toting Hilary Clinton's experience as being the trump card to Obama's charm, but at the end of the day, haven't "experienced" politicians ultimately done more harm than good to this country?

I would like to see someone take the $70 billion that we send overseas to fund war turn it back around and spent on our schools and health care. I mean really, who gives a shit if we live in a safe-free country if we are all a bunch of safe-free-sick morons?

I just saw on the news that a new report ranked the US last in Health care. Shocker! I've known this for the last 10 years, living as an uninsured worker. All because I can't afford it. And why the heck is it so expensive? If we are dead last in improving overall health of patients, what the hell are we paying for? Its things like this that make me consider defecting to France or Canada or Austria or Australia. But I digress and am getting terribly off topic.

Back to the race.

Is anyone as concerned as I am about the actual voting process going to shit?

Issue #1. The electoral college. Isn't is time that we revisited how this system works? Of course there are a few pluses, like how it can balance turn-out disparities among voters, but in my view there are a lot more negatives.

Just the fact that each state determines their own processes with electors makes the system unbalanced and varied throughout the country. And what about those faithless elector guys, who choose at the last minute to vote whichever way they please? In a state with only 3 electors, that one person is way too powerful.

And then we have the issue of the popular vote. For the most part, the electoral college reflects the views of the majority, but look what happened in 2000. It was the first time in 112 years where the winner of the popular vote did not win the election. And why is that? Well I think you all know that story.

Much like our crippled and archaic Constitution, a revision of this system is desperately needed to balance out the inconsistencies of popular opinion vs. decision.

It seems unfair that in a place like Wisconsin where there is a lower population, the voting power of three electors is amplified and more influential than places like California, where there are a lot more state representatives, thus more electors.

Man, how do you get that elector gig anyway? Where do I cast my vote for those dudes? Or do I live in a state that assumes those electors based on which candidates I choose? You SEE!! Its so confusing!

Aaaghhh.

I think we should look to a National Popular Vote system which would make the electors votes be determined by the popular vote of the people. Doesn't that seem more fair?

Anyway, half of you are probably nodding off at this point, the other half of you are wondering how you ended up on my site instead of the Britney Spears gossip site. For all of you, I apologise. I promise to get at least one funny post in asap. Now YOU promise to pull your heads out of the sand and catch some sort of fever....Obama-fever, Clinton-fever, Edwards-fever, yellow fever...whatever. Ok, well maybe not the last one. Unless it makes you vote. In which case, Yea yellow fever!

I'm out.

I can't help but smile when I see people walking around with T-shirts and bumper stickers that have the 1-20-09 "The end of an error" logo on them.

While I can't forsee the future and I definitley don't want to get ahead of myself, I do notice a large collective sense of relief among many people that this day is approaching. It's like a tremendous weight will be lifted from us. You see world? We were only kidding electing that guy! Hee hee *blush blush* You can LIKE us again, right?

As for you President George W. Bush, this is what I think of YOU:

(Image courtesty of : http://www.themostboringblogintheworld.wordpress.com/)


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

How "REAL" can they be?

So the amazingness that is David Gilmore of Prettyontheoutside.com, has this love affair with the Bravo channel television show "The Real Housewives of Orange County." I have been a big fan of the pop art on his site for quite a while and most recently I have been intrigued and facinated by his series of art inspired by "The Real Housewives".

I have to say, that up till now I did my best to avoid watching it, but last night- under extreme diress from consuming MASS quantities of alcohol on NYE, rendering me almost entirely incompacitated and unable to muster the energy to grab the remote and change the channel- I watched it. Actually I watched it for 2 hours but hey, who's counting? It was captivating in its horribleness.

Hmmm... where do I start?

I guess my first thought and concern would be, if there really are aliens out there in the universe studying all the different species of the world, we are screwed.

Remember that movie in the 80s, "The Explorers" where the kid alien kidnaps the kid explorers and can only talk using dialogue he found from earth television shows? Can you imagine the crap that would come out of his mouth if he watched the Real OC shows?

"Like- Oh ma gaahwd! Thanks for totally coming on my ship!" "Money is everything...um hello?" "Like- umm... I hope you guys broke your daddie's credit cards! Lets do some interglactic shopping! Eww....no designer space suits! No room service? Ick."

Seriously though, this show made my brain hurt. The relationships they have with their family members and each other are about as fake as the boobs, hair and teeth. It really makes my skin crawl to think that there are so many people in the world that go without, and these people don't even have a fucking clue what the real value of a dollar is.

My favorite part? One of the parents, this wealthy man named George, begrudeonly agrees to take his blonde boobs-with-a-head fiance and their daughters to"rough" it in a deluxe RV in Yellowstone National Park.

While George and his lady reflect on how good this will be for their demon money hungery spawn, the girls are none pleased with this "adventure". One girl, probably no older than 13, maintained a freakish screw-face for the duration of the trip, and occassionally bellowed out her lament that there was "Like...no room service? I only go on 5 star vacations!"

Cut to a scene with George and the Boobs walking hand to hand talking about how the girls are so "spoiled" and that they are going to struggle in life because of their lack of experience and character. QUA? Did I miss something? Whose fault do they think it is that their children are morally repugnant? Oh, and Boobs was talking about her youngest daughter Sofie, and she actually said and I quote, "Thank goodness for Sofie. She's the only one of my children that hasn't disappointed me yet". Ick

Her other 2 kids ? Thrown to the wolves. Fuck em', she got a new sugar daddy and a million dollar rock on her hand. Let's just hope little Sophie doesn't dissapoint her mommy anytime soon.

Well my friends, that's pretty much all the attention I am willing to devote to that horrible program and those horrible people. Its shows like that that really make me disgusted to be American, or human. Ick. Ick. Ick. I need a shower just thinking about it again.

(image courtesy of www.prettyontheoutside.com)
Do Plastic Surgeons Steal Brains?




(ANYWHEREVILLE)- **THIS IS A SPECIAL BULLETIN FROM CHRISTEN'S NEWSROOM***

Investigators from over five countries have come forward today, with startling allegations of a secret body part smuggling ring involving over 57 plastic surgeons around the world. Apparently, this sting operation has been underway for the last few years and authorities say that they are just on the brink of acquiring the information they need to close-in on many more of these rouge surgeons. The body part on the market? Brains.

Staff Sergeant Michael Williams of the Phonywood Police Department in Los Angeles, released a statement today condemning these abominable acts and calling upon all other local police departments to join him in the fight against these brain stealing monsters.

According to Phonywood PD documents, brains of unsuspecting women visiting plastic surgeons for procedures such as breast augmentation, liposuction and lip injections were victims of brain robbery. In the report, details are given of some women who were even coerced into voluntarily giving away sections of their brains in lieu of payment for services.

Certain cat-faced centenarian celebrities are among the names of famous people who have allegedly traded brains for procedures.

So what are these surgeons doing with these brains, you ask? Stay tuned for part two of this story to learn the sordid and dirty details of these plastic surgeons brazen acts of brain robbery.

(image courtesty of http://www.plasticsurgeryhumour.com/img/brain_enlargement.gif)

-