Thursday, September 25, 2008


















Postpone the Debate???? Really? Hmmm...


Dear Mr. McCain,

So I get the whole crushing economic crisis and all but, did you realize that it's September 25th, dude? Um....the election is like a month away. And you think suspending the campaign is a good idea? Granted I know you were only thinking just doing it for a couple days till all this Wall Street Gobbily-Goop gets sorted out, but really?

Me= Annoyed.

Here's a hint: There is no better time than NOW to be debating. When all eyes and ears are on you. Waiting patiently to hear what you and your opponent have to say to the nation, and each other.

I'm sorry to distract you with this note, I know you're busy rescuing our economy (ie: Trying on Cowboys and Indians Halloween costumes at the White House w/ your BFF Georgie-poo.) But whenever you're done, we are waiting, patiently.

Let the debates begin!!

Sincerely,

Your Conscience.


Rachel Maddow... My love knows no bounds.....

Seriously, I love her. If you haven't watched her show on MSNBC or listened to her on AirAmerica, do it immediately. If you don't, flying monkeys will come down and snatch your first born children. You've been warned.

And on a side note: She is quickly catching up with Jon Stewart in Christen's all-time crushes. I would switch teams for her.
The Fabulous Life of.....The Next Great Depression!



















photo courtesy: bartblog.bartcop.com

Ok, I get it. We're screwed. We're all doomed and destined to survive off of one loaf of bread and a box of steel oatmeal a week for the rest of our lives. The second Great Depression looms.... Trust me I get it.

Having been inspired by Rachel Maddow's amazing Halloween Candy metaphor and some real life events that occurred as I got ready for work this morning, I thought of a metaphor of my own.

The way I look at it, our current economic dilemma is kinda like when you're in the bathroom, brushing your teeth or combing your hair and suddenly you knock a bottle of very expensive lotion (or perfume or whatever) into the toilet. NOOOOOOO!!!!

Now, at this moment you are faced with a very serious decision. Do you stick your hand into the filthy toilet to fish it out, quickly throw it into the sink and scald it with hot water to salvage it? Or do you just leave it there and decide that your prized item, no matter the value, is not worth the putting yourself in a revolting situation. The reality is, both options suck. Economic Bailout= sticking hand in toilet, No Economic Bailout= Losing Prize Possessions.

The thing that's really bugging me today is how everyone is acting so fucking surprised that this Economic Bailout issue has happened. The truth is, the American people are just as much to blame for this predicament as the wankers on Wall Street.

You can't sit idly by watching as investment houses and private lenders get richer and richer, all the while glorifying their spendthrift lifestyle and not expect some sort of repercussion. For years, they've flaunted great monetary wealth in front of our faces. Did the American people not wonder at all where that money was coming from and whether it was being dealt with responsibly?

And it's too late to assign blame now. Ain't it a bitch?

There is not one place in the world that I can think of that has had such a slow deterioration of its economic values over the last decade than in the U.S. All you really have to do is turn on the television to prove that. We have programs that idolize and glorify this ridiculously wasteful and irresponsible behavior of the wealthy. Programs like "The Real Housewives of Orange County"- on Bravo, (insipid women who place just as much value on plastic surgery, designer clothes and social status as average people place on their families and careers) "The Fabulous Life of... Filthy Rich Billionaires, Super Spenders, The Hamptons" on VH1 or "My Super Sweet Sixteen"(MTV)- ( a show in which spoiled, vapid rich 15-year-olds browbeat their out-of-touch and idiotic parents into spending tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars for their stupid birthday parties) have long been brainwashing our next generation of spenders and savers.

Now, anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that I have fairly socialist leanings when it comes to independent wealth and how it should be distributed in society. And of course, I always manage to find myself bumping heads with one pro-Capitalism person or another on a regular basis. What's amusing to me today is that a lot of the pro-capitalist arguments that I've heard, well, seem pretty lame right now. I mean, sure there are still mega mega millionaires in the top percentage of our population, but is this whole economic debacle not proof enough that even those with that kind of money don't really know how to be responsible with it?

I say, lets turn the nation's (remaining) wealth over the the people like you and me. The people that actually know the value of stretching a dollar and saving up for a rainy day, because inevitably there are many. Not the people who think it's perfectly normal and okay to spend $30,000 on a diamond studded collar for their fucking Chihuahua.

Granted I'm making some giant leaps here between our current Economic situation and my dislike of stupid rich ass wipes, but hey, I've been looking for a reason to call them out for a while now. So there. Take that rich jerks!








Tuesday, September 16, 2008






So last night I was texting with my cousin Jodi (16?) and she was telling me how much it blows that she works at Shaw's (a Connecticut grocery store chain). And of course my response was something to the degree of "Oh, honey. If you only knew all the crappy jobs that I've worked." I'm sure that didn't make her feel any better. But it did get me to thinking about all of the jobs I've had in my life, and why there are so many.

Then I had the fucking greatest epiphany ever! What if I am not supposed to be just one thing or have one career? Instead, perhaps I am meant to be a sort of social anthropologist, who immerses myself in everything and anything around me of interest. What if I am simply meant to be a muse? Or a-musing? Is there really anything wrong with that? I can't really think of anything cooler than to be able to reach my golden years, armed with all these amazing stories to tell my grandchildren or neighbors at the "home", about the many beautiful places and interesting people I've met along the way. What better way to honor this life than to spend time creating these wonderfully colorful patches of experience that when put together, will make the most exquisite quilt of memories?

My whole working life I've always wondered why I've never been content to just work in one job and do one thing, with the same people day after day. I think in our society, the popular opinion held of people like myself is that we are either A) Lazy or B) Free spirits who don't really want to grow up and accept real responsibility.

But you see, I don't think I'm either of those things. In fact, I'm probably one of the hardest workers a company can employ if I'm happy in what I'm doing. But there has always been a slippery slope that I teeter on. Once the balance shifts and I feel that I've mastered what it is that I'm doing, risen above others as a standout employee and taken from my job all the skills that I feel are necessary to do the work and do it well, I get...well, bored.

It is the challenge of the unknown that keeps me going. Diving head first into uncharted waters.

It's true that for as far back as I can remember, I've never been able to accept any surface explanations of things. I have always had this desire to know the whole story, figure things out, take things apart and crawl around them for a while until I understand how and why things work the way they do.

Thinking back, I don't regret any of the jobs that I've had and can honestly say that I've learned some really weird and interesting things along the way. Through my diverse experiences, I now feel that I have a greater sense of empathy for other people and their work. Because chances are I've probably done something similar. I've walked many miles in other peoples shoes... I at least know that with a different job comes a different set of challenges that you could never truly anticipate or understand until you yourself are faced with them. There is something very satisfying for me in immersing myself in a new environment and learning the specific narrative and symbolic behavior for each of those places.

I estimate that I've probably worked at over 25 places in the last 12 years. Over 25 bosses. Over 25 new sets of faces and names to remember. Over 25 different skill sets and procedures to follow. It's kind of exhausting if you think about it. I'm proud to say that I've only been fired once. But even that is a really great story.

Who knows where I'll end up, but at least I know that the best part will be finding my way there. And I'm not ashamed to say that while my jobs might not always be glamorous, I certainly feel richer.

And now, for your amusement, I've compiled a list of my jobs that I can remember up to this point. Keep in mind that many of these jobs occurred concurrently. So here they are, good and bad. Embarrassing and respectable. For better or for worse, these are the first few chapters of my life. :)

1) The Freestone Flyer-( 9 years old)- my own newspaper that I sold to my neighborhood.

2) Freddy's Pizza-(14 years old) Pizza Box folder who later graduated to sandwich-maker. Had to quit when the Pakistani owner told me that I had nice "mountains". And for the record, there were NO mountains when I was 14.

3) Main Street Video- (15-16?) Video clerk. The highlight of this job was Wednesday "Adult Video Rental- get one free" nights that would bring in all the town weirdos.

4) JT's Roadhouse Grill (16)- Hostess/ Server

5) Everything Ice Cream (16)- Ice Cream Scooper badass (I'll never again have such amazing biceps)

6) Dial America (16)- Telemarketer. Yeah yeah, I admit it.

7) Elmer's Bar- Bartender, cocktail waitress

8) The Brickyard- Bar-ho, Shot-girl, cocktail waitress

9) Club Insomnia- Door host/ Security (No really...I was female security. It's kind of hilarious thinking about that now. My main job was patting down chicks and kicking crackheads out of the bathroom stalls in the bathroom. Needless to say, the security ended up with a lot of "free" stuff and were worse druggies than most of the guests.

10) Centerfolds- Bartender/ shoulder to cry on for straggly men lacking the nerve to talk to women.

11) Wild Enterprises/Cydcor- Administrator, Sales, Assistant Manager

12) Titan Promotions/Cydcor- Manager of an office in Pompano Beach Florida

13) Noel Enterprises/Cydcor- Chicago sales office/ assistant manager

14) She-Nannigan's- Back to the bar-world in Chi-town

15) Mother's Too- Bartender/Day Manager- Greatest bar job ever. I worked 10am to 6pm Monday-Friday with a bunch of old coot regulars who would sit around and watch Law & Order Marathons with me.

16) Blue Chicago- Server in a Blues Club (Where I fell in love with the blues and met some of my personal heroes)

17) Bootlegger's- Bartender (Anarchy. 4AM bar. Ick)

18) River Shannon- Bartender

19) J- Randolph's- Bartender/Server

20) The Gin Mill- Server/Beer Tub (I only lasted like a month...icky college bar)

21) H. W. Lochner- Editorial Intern eventually promoted to Marketing Coordinator

22) Conscious Choice Magazine- Editorial Intern

23) Volo Wine Bar- (One of the best serving jobs ever)

24) CS Magazine- Editorial Intern/ Fact Checker/ Editorial Assistant

25) Echo Magazine- Features editor at Columbia College

26) Martini Park- Icky icky poo...Lasted 2 months

27) Corporate Concierge Services- My current schtick (about 1 year) we'll see how long this one lasts. :)

28) TBD
Have you guys seen this?????


Sarah Palin's Churches and The Third Wave from Bruce Wilson on Vimeo.


Um.....scary much?