Gravity

I find it amusing that some of the best advice I ever got came in a book called "Taxi Driver Wisdom". Recently I was reminded of a few:

"Travel is to spread your life all over the world"

"You see in other people what you want for yourself"

&

"There's no need to stand behind anyone when there's so much room to walk"

This week finds me at the end of my journey to Costa Rica. When I was there I kept having these moments where I knew I was seeing something amazing that I would have to tell everyone about. But now when friends ask about the trip, I can't seem to find the words. Unlike any other trip I've ever had, Costa Rica had a purpose beyond vacation. I wanted to clear my head and find some perspective.

At first I struggled with the notion of living without all of the distractions that have become urban creature comforts. No phones? No TV? Whatever will I do? The bar closes at what time? 9:30????? WHAT?!! Surely you will find me wandering around in a trance, drooling, after completely losing my mind.

But after a couple of days as I shed my gadgets and gizmos and with them my sense of urgency to use them, I felt better. Whole even. Suddenly, I felt lighter. Not having all this "stuff" was surprisingly invigorating.

All in all, I guess the lesson learned was that I don't need to figure out what I want to be. I just need to be happy in the moment and none of that other stuff matters. I don't need to answer to someone to feel like I serve a "purpose". I only answer to myself.

For a long time, I've definitely had my priorities backwards. I have somehow been twisted into the thinking that "success" is measured by things gained. But the true measure of "success", I've learned, is not what is gained but being able to appreciate and enjoy what you already have around you. That is prosperity. In Costa Rica I was humbled by people, who for the most part, looked at me without judgment. They didn't care what I own, or what car I drive or what my house looks like. Instead they cared what was inside my heart.

I've tried for the past few days to explain this concept of emotional "gravity" to people, but I just can't seem to put it into words. I would love to move to a place like Costa Rica. It has been the only place on earth that I've ever been where I've been physically aware of the gravity holding my body to the ground. I feel pulled there somehow, as if it is where I should be.

Who knows where I will end up, but I know that my days are numbered in Chicago, a place where I once felt pulled to too.