How "REAL" can they be?

So the amazingness that is David Gilmore of Prettyontheoutside.com, has this love affair with the Bravo channel television show "The Real Housewives of Orange County." I have been a big fan of the pop art on his site for quite a while and most recently I have been intrigued and facinated by his series of art inspired by "The Real Housewives".

I have to say, that up till now I did my best to avoid watching it, but last night- under extreme diress from consuming MASS quantities of alcohol on NYE, rendering me almost entirely incompacitated and unable to muster the energy to grab the remote and change the channel- I watched it. Actually I watched it for 2 hours but hey, who's counting? It was captivating in its horribleness.

Hmmm... where do I start?

I guess my first thought and concern would be, if there really are aliens out there in the universe studying all the different species of the world, we are screwed.

Remember that movie in the 80s, "The Explorers" where the kid alien kidnaps the kid explorers and can only talk using dialogue he found from earth television shows? Can you imagine the crap that would come out of his mouth if he watched the Real OC shows?

"Like- Oh ma gaahwd! Thanks for totally coming on my ship!" "Money is everything...um hello?" "Like- umm... I hope you guys broke your daddie's credit cards! Lets do some interglactic shopping! Eww....no designer space suits! No room service? Ick."

Seriously though, this show made my brain hurt. The relationships they have with their family members and each other are about as fake as the boobs, hair and teeth. It really makes my skin crawl to think that there are so many people in the world that go without, and these people don't even have a fucking clue what the real value of a dollar is.

My favorite part? One of the parents, this wealthy man named George, begrudeonly agrees to take his blonde boobs-with-a-head fiance and their daughters to"rough" it in a deluxe RV in Yellowstone National Park.

While George and his lady reflect on how good this will be for their demon money hungery spawn, the girls are none pleased with this "adventure". One girl, probably no older than 13, maintained a freakish screw-face for the duration of the trip, and occassionally bellowed out her lament that there was "Like...no room service? I only go on 5 star vacations!"

Cut to a scene with George and the Boobs walking hand to hand talking about how the girls are so "spoiled" and that they are going to struggle in life because of their lack of experience and character. QUA? Did I miss something? Whose fault do they think it is that their children are morally repugnant? Oh, and Boobs was talking about her youngest daughter Sofie, and she actually said and I quote, "Thank goodness for Sofie. She's the only one of my children that hasn't disappointed me yet". Ick

Her other 2 kids ? Thrown to the wolves. Fuck em', she got a new sugar daddy and a million dollar rock on her hand. Let's just hope little Sophie doesn't dissapoint her mommy anytime soon.

Well my friends, that's pretty much all the attention I am willing to devote to that horrible program and those horrible people. Its shows like that that really make me disgusted to be American, or human. Ick. Ick. Ick. I need a shower just thinking about it again.

(image courtesy of www.prettyontheoutside.com)