IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE CENTS$$

Dear Chicago Cab Drivers,

Alright cabbies , I got some beef with you. You see, I am on to you. I have figured out your ways, and Im here to say......um.....im here to say......ugh..........Well I figured you out!! Haha!

Here's the deal, I take cabs on a pretty frequent basis, about 2-3 times a week. Usually late at night when public transportation becomes a bit too scary for my taste, or after a night of light to heavy drinking.

So recently as I made my way home, grumbling on the inside about having to shell out almost $20 for the ride, I made a realization about the way in which we are conditioned to tip. ( Now for those of you who are non-tippers, I have to say in defense for all other service industry workers and veterans, you are scum, and I will deal with you in a later blog. )

Anyway, I noticed when we pulled up outside my apartment, the meter said $13.45. So, being the consciencious and very generous person that I am, I always assume to give a dollar tip just for the ride. (Note: If they put anything in or out of the trunk for you, it is a few more)

Now there are those of you who may consider a dollar cheap, but you are the same people who probably never take cabs, and when you do, you are visiting friends and whip the money around indispensibly like toilet paper, and than go on and on about how good you feel to give tips to cab drivers that have moved here from other countries. But for the rest of us, who frequent cabs all the time and have since grown tired of interviewing every driver on his country of origin and what his plans are in the U.S. , we understand that a dollar per trip, with an occasional conversation is more acceptable.

Anyway I digress. So, I was about to hand the driver a 20 when I realized that he only had $6 in his hand. Seems fair right? $13.45 fare, I give him $20 then he gives me $6 of which I can choose to tip him.

But then I got to thinking. What about the other .55 cents? Now, I know this might come off as a self righteous or selfish rant, but considering I work in the service industry, I feel I have a right to pose a concern on this issue.

When I give change at work, I give them ALL the change, not the rounded up number. Just think of how much extra money I would be making if I rounded up every tables change and then extended my hand for additional gratuity.

Now I know it's just pocket change, but when I mentally add that pocket change over the course of one month it figures something like this:

3 cabs a week: $1 tip + 50 cents they assume= $4.50 a week

X 4 weeks = $18.00 a month in gratuity

$18!!! Thats more than a whole cab ride!!

So even if I am nitpicking, and I don't count the voluntary gratuity, the cabs are recieving a amount of $6 a month in money they are not even offering me in change.

That might not seem like alot to some people, but $72 a year is a lot to some people.


Anyway, the moral of the story is, don't look at me funny when I ask you for the .55 cents, or the .35 cents after giving me my change. Because you know what, that's not how it works. YOU give ME my change, then I decide what I want to tip YOU.

And for all of you that think that I am giving cabbies a hard time, I'm not, I got much love for them escorting me home night after night, dealing with all the traffic, drunks, traffic, etc. etc.

And I understand gas is expensive, but remember, I am aware of the fact that the prices of cabs just went up too! And now I am aware of your other side operation. So start carrying change guys, cause if you come across me, I'm gonna want it.

P.S

Oh and by the way, when a girl gives you a few extra dollars to make sure she gets inside her apartment safely without being mugged, dont be a jerk and drive off until she is inside. At least give the illusion that you give a shit. Thank you for listening.