US to France: Welcome to our world


Now I'm not going to pretend that I am an expert in French History. Hell, I am only briefly familiar with your current history. But I can't help feeling like I need to weigh in on the current state of your country right now. Maybe its because for some reason I suddenly feel strangely connected to the French people.

Civil unrest you say? Class Struggle? Hmmmm... Do we ever have something in common.

I know that over the years there has been this Anti-French/Anti-American feud between our two countries, that has roots most likely found in war. And I also know that as hard as I may try, even I succumb to a little ignorance about your people now and again.

But considering that now you guys seem to be in quite a pickle, I feel it may be time for us to give up the stubbornness and for you listen to American advice for once. And not because we are some all-powerful, all-knowing nation, but simply because we know a thing or two about economic screw-ups. I mean really, who would be better than the United States to give you a crash course on what NOT to do in a time like this?

As the fires burn on in your fair country, I see many of your leaders in a political version of dodgeball. For this, I am very saddened. I don't know that much about this Nicolas Sarkozy character you got running the Interior ministry, but what I do know I don't like.

Any person whose bright idea for ending civil unrest is deportation is clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. Does he not realize that that will only further the disdain and lack of trust by the poorer classes in your country?

I know by looking at the problem-ridden social programs instituted in the US by our government we are not setting a great example for a harmonious country, but at the end of the day we don't give up. That's the way it is here. We may have drama, but its everyone's drama to share and slowly (sometimes very slowly) we will figure things out.

Do you really want to run the risk of looking like the racist, bratty nation who decided that since they couldn't control the generations spawned from immigrant workers, that they would just sent them back? Seriously?

At least Jacques Chirac seems to have a clue:

``We need to respond in a strong and quick way to the unquestionable problems that many inhabitants of the deprived neighbourhoods surrounding our cities are facing,'' Chirac said.

So I say, get rid of this Sarkozy guy. He seems to be the reason a lot of rioters are unhappy in the first place. I can't remember which publication it was in but there was a great quote from this rioter kid who said the day they kick Sarkozy out of office would be the same day he would turn himself in. He could feel safe again in the hands of authorities.

Crazy right? Of course there is no way he would turn himself in but, hey whatever works right?

So dear France, in your great time of need I say look to us as your example, and try not to repeat. Learn to embrace your cultural differences for it will bring a chaotic beauty unparalleled. And most of all, give the Americans a break once in a while, for now you really see what it is like to live in complete dysfunction 24/7.