(www.ashersarlin.com)


DEAR INCONSIDERATE LAUNDRY ROOM HOG IN MY APARTMENT BUILDING,

For the last year I have kept silent. I haven't so much as complained, argued or posted annoying little notes. But after today, I just can't keep quiet any longer.

First and foremost I want to start off by saying that I am on to your little plan, and you suck.

A while ago I just chalked up your laundry room habits (ie: putting your clothes in the washer and conveniently forgetting them for an entire day, or putting your clothes in the bad dryer that requires $2 to finish your clothes and leaving them there damp so I can't take them out without feeling guilty) to lazyness. But now I see your genius. If you leave your clothes in the dryer, you know that most people will feel too guilty to take them out wet so they add quarters and time for you so that they will be able to use the dryer sooner. You are just a cheap ass aren't you?

I will no longer add quarters or for that matter, care about your wet clothes. I will no longer support you in a sick co-dependant laundry relationship. I'm sure you thought we had some good times, but the pleasure was always yours. Its over.

Although I'm sure that laundry is a chore we all don't like, we have to do it. So I try to get it over with in a fast and painless process. Why drag it out? And if you are going to drag it out, do it on a Monday for Christ's sake! Not SATURDAY or SUNDAY! Did you not know that the weekend is the busiest time for our fair laundry room?

So in closing I say this, you have made my life hell and now I am turning the tables. I hope you like mold my friend, because you will be seeing a lot of it from now on.

Thank you,

Your no-longer co-dependant neighbor.