Natalie Cole should shut her big stupid yap......

Go Team Amy Winehouse!!

Um..... am I missing something here or didn't Natalie Cole used to be a former crack/heroin addict? WOW. Those who live in glass houses right?

Did anyone else hear her on the Grammy's red carpet berating Amy Winehouse after she cleaned up with 5 Grammy Awards by claiming that she "didn't deserve to win" because she should not be rewarded for being a mess? Qua? Um.....sorry to say but she DID. And millions of people agree with me. Need proof? Look at her record sales. When was the last time Natalie Cole sold that many records?

And just in case she is not up to date with her Winehouse stats, the poor girl IS in fact struggling with an addiction for which she is attempting to get help for. In this time we should be supporting her and her sobriety, not telling her that she is undeserving.

And what kind of crap is that to say that a drug addict is not deserving of acclaim. Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Billy Holiday, Jim Morrison.....and the list would go on and on. Were these people, less musically influencial because of their personal demons?

Ugh. The whole thing sickens me. She should shut her big yap and remember that the only reason she is that famous in the first place is with the help of her father's name. And that not that long ago she was spending thousands of dollars made off that name, buying crack-rock from degenerates like herself.

She needs to do a bit of homework before she lumps together pop-culture trainwrecks like Britney Spears/Lindsey Lohans/Paris Hiltons into the same group as someone as genuinely talented as Miss Amy Winehouse.

Being constantly bombarded with images of these attention-craving starlets annoyingly acting out their daily shenanigans in the media, I see what Cole was attempting to say. However, she ended up looking like a jealous ass by trying to steal Amy's thunder on such an important day in her life. Go Team Winehouse!!!

And from Prettyontheoutside.com I present Miss Winehouse:

Here's the deal..... (christen's insufferable political ramblings)



(Image courtesy of: www. fragmentedself.wordpress.com )


Here we go again people. Have we all learned our lesson this time? Are we actually ready for a change?

You know, it sickens me that our country has to almost completely lapse back into a recession and a full-out economy circle-jerk before we start taking notice of our political leaders. Is anyone really shocked that the Iraq war has become less of a concern to American voters? Of course not.

Suddenly our consumer-driven society seems on the brink of consuming itself and we all wonder how it happened. Suddenly, the idea of invading and destroying another country just because we can doesn't seem to have been such a good idea. Well, you put war mongers in power folks, believe me, you get a war.

While I've tried to remain open-minded and truly weigh the possibilities of each candidate, I can't help but get a little bit caught up in this Obama-rama fever. Perhaps its because he is SO different than what we have now. It actually don't think it would be that hard for ANYONE to run on the "Change" platform and get people excited.

And of course, we have all the critics running around toting Hilary Clinton's experience as being the trump card to Obama's charm, but at the end of the day, haven't "experienced" politicians ultimately done more harm than good to this country?

I would like to see someone take the $70 billion that we send overseas to fund war turn it back around and spent on our schools and health care. I mean really, who gives a shit if we live in a safe-free country if we are all a bunch of safe-free-sick morons?

I just saw on the news that a new report ranked the US last in Health care. Shocker! I've known this for the last 10 years, living as an uninsured worker. All because I can't afford it. And why the heck is it so expensive? If we are dead last in improving overall health of patients, what the hell are we paying for? Its things like this that make me consider defecting to France or Canada or Austria or Australia. But I digress and am getting terribly off topic.

Back to the race.

Is anyone as concerned as I am about the actual voting process going to shit?

Issue #1. The electoral college. Isn't is time that we revisited how this system works? Of course there are a few pluses, like how it can balance turn-out disparities among voters, but in my view there are a lot more negatives.

Just the fact that each state determines their own processes with electors makes the system unbalanced and varied throughout the country. And what about those faithless elector guys, who choose at the last minute to vote whichever way they please? In a state with only 3 electors, that one person is way too powerful.

And then we have the issue of the popular vote. For the most part, the electoral college reflects the views of the majority, but look what happened in 2000. It was the first time in 112 years where the winner of the popular vote did not win the election. And why is that? Well I think you all know that story.

Much like our crippled and archaic Constitution, a revision of this system is desperately needed to balance out the inconsistencies of popular opinion vs. decision.

It seems unfair that in a place like Wisconsin where there is a lower population, the voting power of three electors is amplified and more influential than places like California, where there are a lot more state representatives, thus more electors.

Man, how do you get that elector gig anyway? Where do I cast my vote for those dudes? Or do I live in a state that assumes those electors based on which candidates I choose? You SEE!! Its so confusing!

Aaaghhh.

I think we should look to a National Popular Vote system which would make the electors votes be determined by the popular vote of the people. Doesn't that seem more fair?

Anyway, half of you are probably nodding off at this point, the other half of you are wondering how you ended up on my site instead of the Britney Spears gossip site. For all of you, I apologise. I promise to get at least one funny post in asap. Now YOU promise to pull your heads out of the sand and catch some sort of fever....Obama-fever, Clinton-fever, Edwards-fever, yellow fever...whatever. Ok, well maybe not the last one. Unless it makes you vote. In which case, Yea yellow fever!

I'm out.

I can't help but smile when I see people walking around with T-shirts and bumper stickers that have the 1-20-09 "The end of an error" logo on them.

While I can't forsee the future and I definitley don't want to get ahead of myself, I do notice a large collective sense of relief among many people that this day is approaching. It's like a tremendous weight will be lifted from us. You see world? We were only kidding electing that guy! Hee hee *blush blush* You can LIKE us again, right?

As for you President George W. Bush, this is what I think of YOU:

(Image courtesty of : http://www.themostboringblogintheworld.wordpress.com/)

How "REAL" can they be?

So the amazingness that is David Gilmore of Prettyontheoutside.com, has this love affair with the Bravo channel television show "The Real Housewives of Orange County." I have been a big fan of the pop art on his site for quite a while and most recently I have been intrigued and facinated by his series of art inspired by "The Real Housewives".

I have to say, that up till now I did my best to avoid watching it, but last night- under extreme diress from consuming MASS quantities of alcohol on NYE, rendering me almost entirely incompacitated and unable to muster the energy to grab the remote and change the channel- I watched it. Actually I watched it for 2 hours but hey, who's counting? It was captivating in its horribleness.

Hmmm... where do I start?

I guess my first thought and concern would be, if there really are aliens out there in the universe studying all the different species of the world, we are screwed.

Remember that movie in the 80s, "The Explorers" where the kid alien kidnaps the kid explorers and can only talk using dialogue he found from earth television shows? Can you imagine the crap that would come out of his mouth if he watched the Real OC shows?

"Like- Oh ma gaahwd! Thanks for totally coming on my ship!" "Money is everything...um hello?" "Like- umm... I hope you guys broke your daddie's credit cards! Lets do some interglactic shopping! Eww....no designer space suits! No room service? Ick."

Seriously though, this show made my brain hurt. The relationships they have with their family members and each other are about as fake as the boobs, hair and teeth. It really makes my skin crawl to think that there are so many people in the world that go without, and these people don't even have a fucking clue what the real value of a dollar is.

My favorite part? One of the parents, this wealthy man named George, begrudeonly agrees to take his blonde boobs-with-a-head fiance and their daughters to"rough" it in a deluxe RV in Yellowstone National Park.

While George and his lady reflect on how good this will be for their demon money hungery spawn, the girls are none pleased with this "adventure". One girl, probably no older than 13, maintained a freakish screw-face for the duration of the trip, and occassionally bellowed out her lament that there was "Like...no room service? I only go on 5 star vacations!"

Cut to a scene with George and the Boobs walking hand to hand talking about how the girls are so "spoiled" and that they are going to struggle in life because of their lack of experience and character. QUA? Did I miss something? Whose fault do they think it is that their children are morally repugnant? Oh, and Boobs was talking about her youngest daughter Sofie, and she actually said and I quote, "Thank goodness for Sofie. She's the only one of my children that hasn't disappointed me yet". Ick

Her other 2 kids ? Thrown to the wolves. Fuck em', she got a new sugar daddy and a million dollar rock on her hand. Let's just hope little Sophie doesn't dissapoint her mommy anytime soon.

Well my friends, that's pretty much all the attention I am willing to devote to that horrible program and those horrible people. Its shows like that that really make me disgusted to be American, or human. Ick. Ick. Ick. I need a shower just thinking about it again.

(image courtesy of www.prettyontheoutside.com)

Do Plastic Surgeons Steal Brains?




(ANYWHEREVILLE)- **THIS IS A SPECIAL BULLETIN FROM CHRISTEN'S NEWSROOM***

Investigators from over five countries have come forward today, with startling allegations of a secret body part smuggling ring involving over 57 plastic surgeons around the world. Apparently, this sting operation has been underway for the last few years and authorities say that they are just on the brink of acquiring the information they need to close-in on many more of these rouge surgeons. The body part on the market? Brains.

Staff Sergeant Michael Williams of the Phonywood Police Department in Los Angeles, released a statement today condemning these abominable acts and calling upon all other local police departments to join him in the fight against these brain stealing monsters.

According to Phonywood PD documents, brains of unsuspecting women visiting plastic surgeons for procedures such as breast augmentation, liposuction and lip injections were victims of brain robbery. In the report, details are given of some women who were even coerced into voluntarily giving away sections of their brains in lieu of payment for services.

Certain cat-faced centenarian celebrities are among the names of famous people who have allegedly traded brains for procedures.

So what are these surgeons doing with these brains, you ask? Stay tuned for part two of this story to learn the sordid and dirty details of these plastic surgeons brazen acts of brain robbery.

(image courtesty of http://www.plasticsurgeryhumour.com/img/brain_enlargement.gif)

-

I declare this...The Summer of George! Er..I mean, THE YEAR OF CHRISTEN!!!




Hello my lovelies. Today I find myself writing to you on the last day of 2007. Although it's been a good year, I am pretty glad that it's coming to an end. Because-----2008 has officially been deemed the YEAR OF CHRISTEN. And not because it is 2008, but because this year I am 27. Don't ask me what the specific relevance to being 27 is, just understand that I am declaring it... so it will be.

Big things are brewing. I can just feel it.

As for resolutions, I only have one. I don't want to go into to much detail, but it involves giving up not a habit, but a person.

I guess this person actually is my bad habit. Have you ever had a relationship with a person in your life that you know is completely destructive, yet you can't shake em'? My relationship with this person is a lot like my relationship with fast food: I love eating it, but immediately regret it.

It's going to be a struggle, but I'm pretty sure it will be worth it in the long run. I might even look back on this and laugh at how I even had an attachment to this person.

So for 2008, I am going to try to be strong and try to surround myself with people of substance, character and love. And most of all, make the YEAR OF CHRISTEN as meaningful as life should be.

Peace out 2007....

Love: ....like raindrops or toilet paper, it all depends on the usage.

Okay, so I know my post title is a little strange, but some events today have led my thinking to a very strange place.

You ever have a friend that is perpetually in love? Or so they claim. I have this friend, who I LOVE dearly, who has a knack of falling in love the way I fall in lust over a hot pepperoni pizza everytime I see one. And the result of her love, and my lust, usually end in the same way. Lament and upset stomach. Mine however due to the gassyness from my lactose intolerance...but I digress.

It blows my mind really. It's not that she isn't an amazing person, she really is. She has a way of pulling people into her universe and trapping them in her surrounding gravity. It's just that I can't quite grasp how its possible to find that type of love and adoration for another human being quite so quickly, or frequently.

I'm lucky if I see ONE dude a week that I find slightly attractive. But, I do live in Chicago, one of the fattest cities in America.

But its probably better that I don't you know? I mean, knowing my track record, I would probably chase the perfect man away without even realizing I'm doing it.

Maybe its the holidays, or the fact that not one but TWO of my girlfriends called me today to tell me that they are engaged, that has really got my mind spinning on this whole "love" thing.

I guess your experiences with love are greatly determined by what your definition of love actually is. It could very well be that my expectations are WAY too high. Goddamn Disney and all their relationship propaganda.

But then again, I look at my friend, who can always seem to find love the same way raindrops find the earth, and I really wonder....are some people just magnets for it? Perhaps I need to ring Mr. Wizard and have him de-polarize or super-polarize my magnetic energy or something. Hee hee. Maybe afterward we could make some sweet rockets and shoot them into all the slow walkers on the city streets. Damn you all sheep people!

Ahhh.

I'm glad I could get that off my chest. Cause you know, XMAS is over and we are officially on countdown to TWO extremely uncomfortable...er...I mean FUN! times for single gals, New Years Eve and Valenwhores Day. I mean, who doesn't love standing around awkwardly in that moment at midnight while every couple revels in the sanctioned "tonsil hockey" PDA moment of the year. Or better yet, having every jackass you bump into on Valentine's Day ask you if you are enjoying your "girls night out". Its just a day people, relax. Remember, its the unspecial day's moments that mean the most.

Wow, do I really sound like a miser or what? Haha.

Well, so I don't leave you all on a sour note, I thought I would treat you a little "animal porn" (courtesy of AP photos). Come on, you know you love it. :)

R.I. P. Benazir Bhutto 12/27/2007

Tasty People.....They're Grrrreat!

Ok, so I know its a terrible thing that a dude got eaten at that zoo in San Francisco, but really, is it that suprising? I mean, it's a tiger people. They eat like 40 lbs of meat at a time. I thought I would post this tasty tid-bit because for some reason, CNN thinks this story is so shocking that they've had it on a 15 minute loop for the last 4 hours.

What, slow news day CNN? You think that that maybe the landslides were a soft story?

Ugh. And I actually feel bad for the tiger. I mean, I know that if I had to sit, with limited exercise in a fake "jungle" enclosure, day after day as red-faced, tasty-looking meat morsel human babies were dangled in front of me yelling "kitty cat!", I might eventually try to escape and eat the first thing running....just for fun.

Intolerance, injustice and the Jena 6




This morning as I sit watching the thousands of people marching in Jena, Louisiana I can't help sensing the all to common feeling that the slowly deteriorating justice system in our country is failing and like many of the outdated practices of our government, it is in serious need of rehabilitation.

And while it would be easy to jump on the "Free the Jena 6" bandwagon, I realize that a crime, in fact, was committed. All the more frustrating is that many will use this rally as a way of expressing frustration over every personal injustice felt upon them by the "man", and completely lose sight of the issue at hand.

Very simply, we all ARE the man. It's a pretty simple concept but completely ungraspable to most people. The biggest issue we as a country face today and every day is that we live our lives so completely disconnected from others around us and by doing so, allow others to make very important decisions for us.

If the people of America were to get angry and stand together the way they are standing together for the Jena 6, in all the areas needing real examination, we could begin our journey to fix our problems at the root.

Apathy, low-voter turnouts, failing schools, underpaid teachers, a underfunded and severly broken child and social services program, and yes, racism too are just some of the true atrocities in our society. Yet instead of banding together when we really need to, to create change, we watch from the sidelines quietly judging and postulating our opinions upon deaf ears.

For many its easier to point fingers and blame our government for not bringing about change. If you always ride the fence, you never fall into the line of fire. And those who have strong opinions are usually the first ones getting shot. It's sad really.

Today I praise the people, of all colors who are standing up for the right reasons. Hopefully the day will end peacefully and leave a lasting impression on the folks in Jena who have been involved in the push-pull of racial tensions. " You have a rally in my town, I'll put up a confederate flag."

It's strange really, watching CNN, in 2007 and seeing so many African-American faces lined up behind fences patrolled by white, Louisiana troopers. And it is most certainly an image I won't soon forget.

Europe 2007!!!

Well hello everyone! I just got back from my two-week trip to Europe with my roommate Brad and I thought that I would share some pics and stories with you. We started out visiting some of his family in Germany and later we traveled through Switzerland, Austria and Spain.

Let me tell you one thing, Germans love to eat! And coming from me, that is saying a LOT. I just weighed myself and no joke I gained 4 pounds. Seriously.

So without further ado, here is a (sort-of) narrated journey of my trip through pics. Enjoy!



Thanks to US Airways delays and incompetence, me and Brad had 10 minutes to catch our connection in Philadelphia at a terminal 1 MILE away. Literally 1 mile. I haven't ran that fast since...well ever. Needless to say, we were pretty pooped and smelly for our 8 hour plane ride to Zurich.










This is what boredom will do to you.





One of MANY cakes eaten in just ONE day.






Brad catching up with his family.



A farm next door to some of Brad's family in Germany.



Children of the corn.



I kinda have a thing for statues. This guy is known as Father Leche in Landsburg, Germany.


Landsburg at night.





The Leche at night.



Me and Brad.



This creepy huge painting was hanging on a tower in Landsberg and kind of looks like some sort of old fashioned bonage.



A tower in Landsburg at night.





A farm in Landsburg.



Brad's family walking us around town.



This statue was outside of the Landsburg history museum.



Landsburg Cathedral.



The ceiling of the cathedral.



Landsburg.





One of Brad's relatives, Andrea, took us to a German Disco.





Random German boy. They sure do make them cute. :)


The "Robot"




We walked up along these cliffs and waterfalls about 2 miles to get to Neuchweinstein Castle.








View from the top.



Neuchweinstein Castle.


This was the another castle that the king built for his grandfather.









On one of the many long drives through the hills and mountains in Germany and Switerland.


Neuschweinstein from MANY miles away. Just to give you an idea of how big it is.



The port along the Bodensee (Lake Constance) in Lindau, Germany.



Lindau.


Brad's uncle Tom, his Oma and Heinz.



An old city building in Lindau.


The tower Rapunzel supposedly let down her hair. :)


A sunset in Meersburg, Germany.



The Promenade in Meersberg.

Meersberg.



In order to get the full German experience I ordered a beer that turned out to be bigger than my head.



After the beer.



Our first hotel in Meersberg, owned by Heinz.

Meersberg.




These creepy guys were on a statue that spits on you.





This castle is one of the oldest structures in Germany.



Stairs leading to nowhere.







This statue had many wacky characters in German history including a doctor who believed magnets cured many illnesses, and another doctor who believed that you could relieve all of your ailments through laxatives.


This depiction was of a person relieving all of their ailments and demons through the ass. (Laxatives)








Here is a spider that was hanging over my head at a phone booth. (shudder)




Lucerne, Switzerland.













Back in Meersberg, Brad ordered a burger that was bigger than HIS head. There seems to be a theme in Germany.


A really cool bar in Meersburg.



Graffitti in some Swiss town.